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The Story Behind The Picture.


The top photograph of myself (head and shoulders) which heads the website, was taken from the above group picture, after editing and colour filling in the background. (The lady on my left is my wife Pat).

With the other couple our friends who are also man and wife we were spending the weekend at a hotel attending a function. As we were seated at the table the in-house photographer approached and prepared to take our photograph.

Now I have got hundreds of photies of me and the missus, and I didn’t much fancy forking out a fiver for yet another one. I then had this great idea, I waved my hand across the front of myself saying to the photographer in a loud conspirital (perhaps too loud) voice. “These ladies are not our wive’s”. The photographer immedietly went into the apologetic ever so sorry routine, and started backing away from us, brilliant! my ploy had worked. Then from my immediet left came a loud irate cry of “what did you just say!”. My wife then turned to the lady (her friend) sitting next to her saying crossly “he (me) has just told that photographer that we are not their wive’s”.

I just do not understand women, my wife has has been known to call me a lazy usless etc etc, there have even been occasions (usually when I was a bit pissed) when she has denied even knowing me. Now because it happened to suit the occasion (to get out of having to pay five quid for the photie) I said had quite casually that she was not my wife, all hell has broken loose.

The outcome was that the two ladies virtually demanded that the photographer come back and take the pictures, and made absolutely sure that both of us men purchased copies. These photographs are now no doubt tucked away alongside the secret place where they keep their marriage licences, just in case further proof be needed.

So the charming smiles in the picture, may have more to do with my remarks, and the susequent bolloking I got, rather than the amount of alcy-hol consumed.


In my opinion my wife had nothing to complain about. If I had ever considered taking a mistress which is most unlikely (far to much hassle!) I certainly would not have picked an ugly one. So therefore in implying that my wife was my mistress, I was in fact paying her a compliment, but tell that to the marines!.

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